Can You Learn to Be Happy?

I’d like to share with you a phone call that I received recently from Susan (pseudo-name) who lives Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

She had called me in regards to my tinnitus-free-living program. She had some questions about the program and of course wondered if she should get it or not. In other words, would it work for her?

So, naturally I had some questions of my own. I found out that she has had tinnitus for over 15 years and that it had severely affected the quality of her life. Without going into great detail, she has attempted suicide as a result of her tinnitus and has taken anti-depressants as well as sleeping pills in order to get a night’s rest.

Now, her story is not an uncommon story, I hear it all the time. But what struck me about our conversation that I’d like to share with you was when I asked her this question, “Have you ever been happy?”

Immediately following this question was a lengthy pause to which she responded, “No, I don’t think so.”

So, my next question was, “Do you know that it’s simply a choice that you make?” I was trying to get her to see that her unhappiness was caused by her and not the tinnitus. She of course was not convinced. But, I kept at it and eventually asked her another question which floored her.

I asked, “Has anyone ever taught you HOW to be happy?”

Well, I thought she was going to fall off her chair and drop the phone. I could sense that there was this sudden realization that – NO – no one had ever taught her how to be happy. Not her parents, not her teachers and not anyone that she ever new.

So, I responded, “My program will teach you how to be happy. That’s its main purpose.”

I went on to explain that the more happy you are, the more you are in control of your tinnitus. And, eventually if you keep it up, your tinnitus will literally fade into a distant memory.

I taught her a phrase which I use constantly in my life, “I choose to be happy now.”

The problem is that as humans, we are conditioned to expect better things in our lives so that we can be happy. So, we’re always waiting for better conditions to arrive. Somehow, they never do.

When you look to the future for something to happen that will make you happy, you will always be disappointed. Why? Because you miss the only time there ever is and that is the NOW!

When the future arrives it will be now. But, most people keep looking towards it for something to happen that will change the way they feel. But, you can only change the way you feel right now.

When I told the woman on the phone that my program can teach her to be happy, she couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. She obviously had more questions but in her mind it seemed to me that it was more important for her to learn how to be happy than even worrying about her tinnitus.

If you wait for your tinnitus to get better in order to feel good and be happy, you will never get there. You can only be happy now. And, if you can’t – you must!

Make it the most important decision that you can ever make. Choose it, live it and do it now.


Paul Tobey is a professional motivational speaker who has performed many seminars for tinnitus sufferers and is author of Tinnitus Free Living a which helps people reduce their tinnitus volume.